How to let Go(d) - The art of getting lost.
All my life, as I have attempted to find myself, I have gotten more and more lost. And the more lost I have allowed myself to be, the more I have found. I have found treasures beyond riches, I have found the Divine within me and all I see, I have found the remedy for any fear, I have found the gold within my Heart. And there are times when I seem to have forgotten where I have buried my gold, but then I realize that the only thing I have forgotten is how to let go.
The art of getting lost is the art of finding. At least that is how I see it.
There comes a time in our life and our self-development where we cannot continue explaining ourselves to others, but most importantly to ourselves. We all spend a various amount of time with ourselves trying to figure things out, some do it as a quicker view scanning the surface of matters that we consider ours to define our place in the world. Others go more in-depth, diving deep into the pool of self-examination. Certain people have a hard time finding their way up and a very few amount of seekers never find themselves but finds something else instead. The risk of being lost is both the greatest risk and the greatest chance. In honesty, there is never any risk of truly being lost, because what we lose is not our true nature of being, what we lose is the constructs of our identity.
The more we lose grip of these constructs of our identity, the more of our innate power can come through. Our innate power is of our true essence, so in reality, we always gain something by letting go of that which we believe is us or ours. If we truly trust and have faith then we can set our intent on the most beneficial self-development and soul evolution for you.
The more we evolve and develop into our true nature, the larger of effect we have on our surroundings. So we can never truly avoid conflict externally until all resistance and dissonance has been dissolved. However, we can choose how we nurture the occurrences inside ourselves.
I know that I have many times made such a large impact on the environment and my surroundings that the effect is a lot more than what deems to be the harmonious effect. I don't bring chaos or unruliness but I do bring up the constructs of our subconscious to the surface. I can see this as I step into environments and add myself to the pot – my personality, my act, my stories, with no excuse, but with awareness – then things get stirred. The more I accept myself as I am and the less I try to figure out why I have this effect, or even more so the less I try to play down the effect of my presence, then I can more easily be me.
But it is not an easy ride, however, because the further we go down into our abyss of ideas, constructs, wounds and triggers, the more aware we have to be, and it is not far too random that one occasionally believes these constructs that one finds in the darkness of our subconscious. But it is a lesson itself – to learn how easily we get swayed by these imprints. We can then learn how to navigate without standing in our way. Suddenly, it all becomes a great play, it becomes gracefully apparent that we cannot change who or how we are, we can only change how we choose to perceive ourselves and our gifts and also choose to accept it or to resist it.
If we resist ourselves, if we continue explaining and trying to adapt ourselves, then we will not grow. It is evident. We have to let go to find. We have to lose in order for ourselves to receive. It is one of the laws of reciprocity.
One year ago I visited the magnificent Scotland, I imagined myself getting lost and finding way on the Highlands of the magic country. But life had other plans and I had very few days there, so there was never any talk about excursions. Well, in my head there was quite some talk to being with, but then I remembered how each step is an adventure itself. I ended up walking all of Edinburgh with a complete stranger in the middle of the night. As we were passing through a graveyard and an ancient church I told him that the biggest fear I have ever had was to learn how to love myself. He listened and smiled. We danced under the bridges and walked over the hilltops. This all happened as I released my expectations on what it ought to be like, once I released resistance to that adventure it naturally unfolded itself in front of my eyes. What an adventure it was! Yet it was only 48 hours of cosmic dance, that was enough for me to look at both myself and the world through new eyes. Through that acceptance I then could receive my plans too, I got to have both, it is never either-or.
Before I left Edinburgh I bought a book for my father, a gift for his birthday, it was the book “A field guide to getting lost”, by Rebecca Solnit. Now, I am finding myself borrowing it from him, sipping slowly on my own medicine and my own remedies.
I will tell you about it when I am done unless you care to read it with me.
Blessings / Cecilia Eyvaa